These days, we find most young ladies are not ready for a serious relationship. They take time and want to explore men and test before concluding. Is this normal?

 The other day I bumped into a discussion on the subject and wanted to write on this topic, but I wasn't finding a suitable question so I had to put up a question myself.

I feel the assertion is a generic statement - “Most young ladies not ready for a serious relationship….” doesn’t hold good. It could be an assumption of some people. However such assertion is not supported by sufficient data. However, it is possible that there are people who would have seen or experienced similar incidents in their vicinity which influenced them to form such an opinion.

In today's generation, more & more girls are pursuing studies, and career options in almost all fields, even in the fields which were hitherto considered men’s domain. So there is much more free mixing between male & female, boys & girls compared to say 30–40 years back. Naturally, when there is an opportunity to mix up freely there would be chances to build up working relations, friendships as well as intimacy. Now when I say intimacy it could be temporary also. Girls are nowadays educated, independent, and strong-willed to decide what they like and dislike. They wouldn’t hesitate to discontinue a relationship ( at least before marriage ) the moment they feel that something is not working. This is true for the boys even. Nobody broods over for long.

If someone is attractive in whichever sense, be it a boy or a girl, it's possible there will be more than one suitor. And who wouldn’t love to be in such a position? So if you have choices available, you might want to check out what option suits you better. It's a different matter that certain people are very steady about their relationship. They take a lot of time to make their choice, but once they are sure about their choice they will stick to it. Now it totally depends on what type of person I am and with whom I am mixing, accordingly my experience would be.

I think no girl would be against having a serious relationship if she is ready for it mentally and most importantly if the person is right and who is also equally serious. If the girl is not prepared or not in a position to start a serious relationship, she won’t do it even if you are the best person. And even if a girl is ready for a serious relationship, she may adopt a watch-out strategy to test/taste water. She would like to be sure from all possible angles before committing to a serious relationship. Till such time one could be put on probation to be confirmed only after the successful completion of the probation period. Please appreciate for girls it's not so easy.

As regards exploiting a man before concluding, I would avoid calling it exploiting. Although again it depends on what kind of people one is mixing. But as I said the girls would like to be doubly sure before saying yes. So she might like to check how much you care, your financial stability, how committed are you, how are you as a person, etc. When a girl makes you spend or lets you spend for her, not necessarily she is trying to exploit you. Most girls like to be pampered and typically the boys try to impress by spending on gifts and treats. however, It doesn’t require spending money to impress someone. And don’t be under the impression that just because someone has heaps of money all the girls would get impressed. It all depends on your approach, your sincerity, your commitment, your personality, etc. Money may be important, but it's not the deciding factor alone. It may so happen that the girl is only paying all the restaurant bills when she is committed to you.

Let me give a small perspective. For the selection of a candidate, we may interview a number of candidates, conduct several rounds of interviews, and finally select someone. And even after that, the candidate has to undergo a trainee period, and a probation period before confirmation. While confirmation doesn’t mean that he can not be terminated. The better the job, the higher the competition. People do prepare for years to crack their dream course or career. But people who are focused and serious about making it, they make it. It all depends on your tenacity, and how persistent you are.