Negotiating a tough Boss

NEGOTIATING A TOUGH BOSS

 

As a young professional of License Raj era I worked under the rule of mangers. Unlike the today’s open market era the concept of leader was less applied in those days. The communication mostly one way – top down. Managers mostly forty plus and fatherly figure. With market being globally open the competition has attain a wider significance. The opportunity has grown to a new magnitude. The market dynamics has gone sea change and more often the term “Leader” are being used to describe a manager. However with little change in the inner thought process of so called leader we more often come across arrogant, grumpy, grouchy, bullying managers, managers who would deprive team of  their due credit, managers who would not appreciate team’s effort, managers who would boast teams idea as his own, managers who would suppress team members talent and would not allow them to grow and the likes who could be best defined as “HARI SADU” ( H – for Hitler, A for Arrogant, R for Ras…. etc ). In each of our professional life we have our due share of “HARI SADU” with variance in degree of intensity making our life miserable. I call it Negotiating An Uphill Blind Curve. We will refer them as HS

These HSs for professionals are same what an Uphill Blind Curve for a motorist. Both could be absolutely dangerous unless negotiated in a skillful manner. A motorist could avoid an uphill journey still he achieve proficiency in driving. However an young professional one may not have the good luck that he would not face his HS in his first job assignment itself. Secondly a motorist does not keep on facing a uphill blind curve through out the day, 30 days a month and twelve month a year. But the miserable employee has to work under the prying eyes of his HS every day.

So what’s the way out ?  Quitting or Changing job ? But where is guarantee that next boss would not be a brother in the arm ? So the best option in my view is to face it upfront and negotiate. We all negotiate in our life, somewhere there is a master negotiator in each of us. As a children we use to negotiate with our parents, then as we grow up we negotiate with our friends & foes, girl friend or boy friend, relatives, shop keeper etc. So negotiating is not something new to us, only difference that we are now facing uphill task to negotiate with a person in position of power and authority who doesn’t seem to be concerned about our well being. That makes our task difficult.

By the term “ Negotiation” I mean effective dealing with a person  or a situation. Negotiation a skill which needs to be mastered. I Lets take the example of boys who are ardent bike lover and are in motorbike racing. They love this sport because of excitement to overcome risk & challenge involved. The bigger the challenge the bigger is the satisfaction & reward. The problem is that in real life most of us look forward to have smooth life and big reward. Which is not possible. We want a job with comfort of home town, we want  low target, we want soft and supporting Boss but a big fat package. How could that be possible ? If we make ourselves ready to face challenge like a motorist on a uphill curvy road we are mentally better placed to face the HS of our professional life. Half of our problem is over the moment we decide to face the unseen, the rough road ahead. Our home work is better done and we are not upset when we face of challenge.  We can take the challenge as an adventure. The whole approach is now changed from a person who runs away from problem to a person who looks forward to face the challenge. This gives us opportunity to understand the situation much better keeping our cool and strategize our defense and offence and be in command.

Remember a rough road can make you better driver sooner than riding on a smooth road. Adversity teaches much more than prosperity. One failure can teach us more than ten successes. In our young days our risk taking capacity is much higher since stake is much lower. I have read about an organization that would not select a candidate unless he has faced one major failure in life. Why so ? It ensure that the candidate is capable to negotiate failure and stand up once again. People who has always seen success may find themselves clueless in the face of major failure since they have never handled one.

Now say we are emotionally ready to face our HARI SADO, is that enough ? No its just beginning of planning for a difficult uphill journey. We have checked that our vehicle is in good shape and prepared for the journey ahead. What next ? We also need a navigator, so if possible get yourself one, who would be constant companion throughout the ride and can be a handy guide. This could be in the form of friend, colleague mentor or even parent who are aware of corporate culture, one whom you can rely, and one who has rational approach of life.  If not available one need to do analysis & introspection of the events in a positive manner.

Next step try and understand your BOSS, gather as much information possible. Understand his priorities and expectation. Understand your role and professional responsibilities you are expected to deliver. See if you are comfortable, if not seek support from around within and build up your competencies.

Then the most important point is communication. Many a times this HARI SADO image built up could actually a magnified one, the actual reality could be a pleasant surprise. It is very important  that we start having communication, we need to have a starting point. Exchange of pleasantries could serve purpose, find out a genuine opportunity to greet him or complement him.

Mostly these HS are themselves victim of his own web or possibly be groomed or mentored in not so right manner. Something like ragging in college hostel. One wrong thing leads to chain of other wrong thing. My understanding of corporate behavior tells that no one  enjoy being grumpy. Mostly the person wear this mask probably because he is not confident of expressing or exercising his authority in some other pleasant manner, he is not sure or confident about his authority, he is under the notion that if he speak softly people would take him lightly or he could be under the notion that Boss has to speak in a commanding language always.

Let me relate some experience here. I have good numbers of friend who pursue martial art and now are accomplished expert donning Black Belt. I have seen them in their learning days – they would not waste single opportunity of show their skill ( at wrong place even ). Why so  ? Because they were not so confident about their authority on the subject, they were not sure whether people know about their skill power. But as they progressed in their journey to black belt this tendency gradually reduced and finally vanished. Why ? Because their authority on the subject is established and that made them more responsible. Their command over skill gave them the confidence to be cool even in the face of challenge. One need not raise his voice when he is in command of the situation. People generally loose their cool when situation is out of control or they are not sure of their command.

This tendency is seen many a times with senior corporate bosses also even when they are sure about their authority. The probable reason of being grouchy & bully could be – They are not comfortable of handing objection, they do not want any argument, want to show off their authority, they feel or find it most effective, previous experience, team not very supportive, his bosses treat him the similar way, they have been groomed in such a manner, constraint of time, superiority complex, they are under pressure to delivery or they want to exploit employee for personal motive. The last one is difficult to deal, other aspects are under our scope of discussion. Inside the hard coconut shell you would mostly find a soft and vulnerable person who need to wear the protective gear of arrogance.

We could see the strongest reason of HS behavior is because of not having the situation under control. Now having fair idea about the probable background it would be easier for us work out strategy.

Once we are being able to start our communication we would be able to understand his expectation and priorities and work out our action plan. I am sure in the beginning things would not be that easy, but we have to wait till we find the first crack in his armor. We have to make sure that we stick to our commitment and build up confidence and give him room for maneuver. He would look for opportunities to be assured that he could get his job done and done better without bully and raising his voice. Cutting off communication make him more isolated and aggressive. He would not tolerate when his team having their light moments of fun & joy which he is not part of.

One need to follow the golden rules to deal with the HSs and for that matter all Bosses.

1. You need to assure him that his instruction, views are being taken with utmost seriousness and sincerity. One needs to be attentive, if required take note of important point during discussion.

2. While in discussion if you have a query do not interrupt him in between. Take his approval before seeking clarification.

3. For important and tricky matter discussion it is advisable to check his mood. We used this method in our childhood. If we have to a get some permission we used to check our father’s mood before raising the matter, many a time we used do some small service before asking some favour where otherwise chances were there of getting rejected.

 4. If there is a meeting with him, make advance preparation on the subject so that all relevant information are ready in hand. In the follow up meeting make sure the point raised during earlier meeting are addressed or taken care off so that you are not caught wrong foot. If the results not achieved make sure that at least the processes are in place.

5. If you need to discuss any issue do  not go with problem oriented mind, go with a solutions oriented mind having few workable solutions ready   for his consideration. Do not load him with your problems; he already has a lot in his plate. Never refer your personal problem to him.

6. When  there is a pressing need and you have to carry on with the meeting  inspite of Boss being in foul mood, make sure he is not interrupted while he give vent to his anger, displeasure. Let him empty out his  despair, do not try to reason out or give any justification till he is through. Rather utilize the time to understand the insight of the matter and his pain area. A meaningful discussion would be possible only when he is rational, you would get your opportunity to put forward your views and if put in a pragmatic manner possibly he would be ready to consider even.

7. Never try to prove your boss wrong  upfront ( even if he is wrong ). You may win the battle but loose the war. Make your boss win the battle, he may allow you to win the war. If at all you need to contradict, you have find out a way that it actually does not sound contradictory. You need to place your view in subtle polite manner and seek his approval.

8. Never make him loose his face. Make him win. Find opportunities to complement him genuinely. Your HS may not know how to appreciate. However if you want to be appreciated and complemented you have to make a beginning. Soon you will see the reflection. Possibly your HS has never been appreciated. Now when he taste the magic of appreciation he would long for more and would start appreciating his team, if not at least he would be speaking softly to ensure that people like him.

9. In the event he steals your ideas do not confront him, let him have the credit. By doing so you will make yourself endear to him as well be a indispensible member of the team for constantly feeding him with new ideas. He would more often ask your views ( though in private ). Remember leaders are praised for team success and they face the criticism for teams failure. As such you are not loosing anything rather getting opportunity to implement your ideas and slowly & gradually earn a quasi leadership position. The best way to implement your ideas are to get it implemented through you Boss, you would not face much of resistance if your boss is convinced. And if he is not convinced best of ideas would go to dustbin.

10. Present your ideas to him as if he has put the seed in your mind which has germinated in to this idea.

11. Always be genuine and maintain your dignity, cool & composer. Never resort to cheap flattery, it doesn’t hold good for long. It is very important to build up an image that he is dealing with a sincere, confident and matured employee who knows his job well and deserves to be treated with dignity.

12. Enhance your effectiveness / performance level to match your Boss’s expectation. Success speaks sweeter than anything and can silence the worst critic. If the numbers are on your side people would be ready to give concession on ten other areas.

13.  Honour your commitment. Remember when you make a commitment you build hope, when you keep your commitment you build trust. And when you make it a habit to keep your commitments you build up confidence and you become pillar of strength for your Boss. 

14. And last but not the least having your Boss on your side could save you from trouble in the time adversity which tens of success may not be able to.

And if you are capable of taking people along you are already an accomplished leader.

Fortunately today most of managers understand that productivity could be best managed in healthy working atmosphere. Good numbers of management workshop are being organized to improve the managerial thinking. Numbers of close door chambers are being cut down drastically across organization and a culture of open atmosphere are being promoted. With all this HARI SADOs numbers are going down significantly. In its place we come  across a term call Tough Boss.

Tough Bosses are the demanding kind of boss who push us to stretch and make us more productive. This actually help us to achieve our true potential. Just think if your parents or teacher happily accepts  you when you score 50 out of hundred will you strive harder ? No ! Many a time after scoring high we suffer from complacency and score low next occasion. So scoring high may not always bring you hefty appreciation. Possibly you would be loaded with more tougher schedule or more work load to make you ready for bigger & tougher challenge ahead. Possibly you could be the chosen one lead in future, so you may be tested again & again without showing any softness. And once you are through the process you are brighter gold and possibly you would start appreciating your HARI SADO.